Kiss me Kill Me
by VampyresAlive
Summary: Naru/Sasu. Seven years ago, Sasuke mysteriously up and vanished. Now he's returned to Konoha with his daughter. And what's this? Naruto's the daddy? MPREG NARU/SASU
1. Enter: Shiori Uchiha

It was a sunny day in Konoha. Nothing interesting had happened since last Tuesday, when Gaara, Kazekage of the sand, had randomly shown up for a meeting with the hokage and a chat with Naruto.

" Hmm…..Genma, did you hear that?" Raidou let his chair fall back, standing up to look outside the gates. There was nothing there.

" Nah, you're just imagining things, Raidou. Sit back down. Hrnhh?" so now Genma had heard it too. The men stood up, walking to village perimeters and looking around.

" There!" Raidou pointed somewhere off to the left, and Genma followed his hand, eyes falling on a little girl running towards them as if her life depended on it.

" Please! Please help me! My daddies dying!" Genma ran after the girl as she turned back the way she had come, his partner following behind.

A few seconds had passed before the guards heard it, but then it was clear as day. Heavy panting, as if from a wounded animal. The men skidded to a halt as the girl crumbled next to a man with dark hair, presumably her father. She looked up at them with big blue, tearful eyes.

" Save him! He said we had to come back, he has something important to tell someone in that village!"

Genma knelt down, nearly falling over when he saw who it was he needed to be saving. A bossy voice interrupted him from his thoughts.

" Ah, so you're back, are you? Raidou, Genma, get him up to the clinic. don't let anyone else know of his return yet!" both men nodded before disappearing in poof of smoke, the mysterious stranger long with them.

Tsunade turned to leave when a frantic cry and a tugging on her jacket stopped her.

"Wait, where did you take my daddy? You wont hurt him, will you?!" The blonde looked down at the girl, pulling her jacket free.

" Ah, so the stoic bastard has a daughter now, does he? Very well then, follow me." the blonde set a fast pace, glancing behind her every now and then to make sure the girl was keeping up. She did so surprisingly well for the six or so years old that Tsunade took her to be.

" Baa-chan, you were supposed to meet me here ten minutes ago!" A certain blonde haired boy grumped, standing up and crossing his arms. The woman frowned, smacking him smartly across the head.

" What have I told you about calling me that, brat!?"

" Jee, lighten up Baa-chan!" the blonde paused, his eyes now resting on the oddly familiar little girl.

" Who's that?" he asked, pointing to the kid. She stared up at him innocently.

" A dear friend of yours just brought her, you could say. Take care of her until I come back to get her. Tsunade 'poofed' away, leaving the blonde alone with the girl. He looked down at her, grinning nervously and clearing his throat.

" So…… I'm Uzumaki Naruto. What's your name?"

She looked up at his name for a second in recognition before answering timidly.

" Shiori. Shiori Uchiha."

-THIS WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO BE THE END OF CHAPTER ONE, BUT IT WAS JUST SO SHORT, AND I'M NOT THAT MEAN, SO I GUESS I'LL KEEP WRITING. ENJOY-

"U-Uchiha, did you say?" the girl nodded, her black hair sliding over her shoulder.

" Eheh, so I guess your dad is….Sasuke." it wasn't a question, and the girl didn't answer.

" So….who's your mom?" the girl smiled up at him, her eyes closing just the way his did when his smile got too big.

" I don't have a mama, but daddy says you're my papa." the girl took a step back as Naruto fainted.

" Naruto?" The blonde groaned, opening his eyes and wincing. He sat up slowly, a hand coming up to grip his now throbbing head.

" Ugh, what happened?" It was then he noticed the big blue eyes right in front of his face. He let out a very un-masculine shriek, scooting back quickly.

" There's no way I'm your dad! How the hell could that work?!"

" Come with me and I'm sure you'll find out." Tsunade had appeared behind Naruto, frowning down at him. The blonde nodded, getting up and holding out a hand to the little girl. She took it without hesitation.

Tsunade led them through a back door at the clinic and into a private room. There was a thin person sleeping in the bed, oxygen and heart monitors making beeping and whirring noises. Naruto took a step closer and looked down into the pale, thin face of his long lost best friend, and his lover, Sasuke Uchiha.

The blonde took another small step forward, reaching out a shaking hand and gently brushing away a stray lock of onyx hair from an oh so pale forehead.

" Sasuke…."

" I'm not sure how the child came too be, but we're about to find out. Stand back while I wake him up." Naruto nodded, allowing Tsunade to take his position by the bed. The hokage put her hands on the Uchiha's chest as they started to glow blue. It took only seconds before the ravens breathing began to change, signaling he was about to wake up.

Naruto watched with wide eyes as the black haired boy groaned, attempting to sit up and failing miserably. Pale lids slowly opened to reveal coal black eyes. The Uchiha looked around for a minute before bolting upright.

" Shiori?!" his voice was thin and weak, but still easily recognizable.


	2. BUT YOU'RE GUYS!

Oh wow, this seems to be quite the popular story. Thank you, all my lovely reviewers! Now, I forgot to put a disclaimer in the first chapter -stupid me, hehe- but honestly, if I owned the characters, would I be posting these lame stories?

Enjoy!

" Shiori?" his voice was thin and weak, but still easily recognizable. The two blondes stood back as Shiori crawled up into the bed beside her daddy, snuggling into his side.

" You're not hurt are you? They didn't touch you, right?!" Naruto watched the strange display of affection with wide eyes, not daring to break the silence. He didn't have to, because Tsunade did for him.

" They?" Sasuke's eyes darted up, widening in recognition.

" Lady Tsunade!" his eyes drifted slowly to Naruto's, Shock now defining his stoic features well.

" …..Naruto…"

" So you mean to tell me seven years ago you left to the Hidden Tree Village ( A.N. Yup, I so just made that up! Cheesy, tacky, whatever. I had no other ideas!), and only now come back when your life is in danger? Why, so we can protect you?!" Tsunade fumed, slamming her hand on the small nightstand impatiently. Sasuke shook his head, eyes closed in annoyance.

" That's not what I said!"

" Well it's what you meant!"

" And how the hell would you know what I mean?!"

You ungrateful little brat-""BAA-CHAN. Let him talk." Naruto, who had yet to say a word since Sasuke had awakened, stood up and walked over towards the bickering pair, seating himself between the two before looking towards Sasuke.

" Tell us Sasuke, everything, from the beginning. Including Shiori." Sasuke stared at Naruto for a second before nodding.

" It was just after you proposed to me Naruto. I found out I was pregnant. I don't know how, I mean, I'm a guy. I was scared, so I ran. I ran until my legs couldn't take me anywhere else, and I ended up in the Hidden Tree Village. They took me in, and an old nurse helped me through the pregnancy.

I worked hard for Shiori. I wanted to give her everything she wanted, but the only thing she wanted was her father. I decided when she was old enough to make decisions for herself, and if she still wanted to meet you, I would bring her. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I…." Sasuke paused, looking down at his hands. Naruto reached out, placing his own hand on top of the pale Uchiha's.

" But you-?"

" I was scared." Sasuke curled protectively around Shiori, pulling her to his chest.

" I thought you would take her from me, and that you wouldn't want me anymore. I didn't know what to do!"

" You thought I would leave you because you were bearing my child?" Naruto sat down next to Sasuke gingerly, pulling his pale lover and their child to himself in a warm hug.

" I would never do such a thing, Sasuke, and I would never have let anyone take her away from you." He reached out a hand hesitantly, Catching some of Shiori's raven locks and holding them up to the light.

" I always wanted a family, thank you Sasuke, for coming back, and for bringing me a daughter." a loud cough interrupted their 'moment' just then.

" Okay, so the little issue between you is resolved, but what about the reason you came back and why you were about to die outside of my Village's gates." Tsunade ordered.

" I was bringing Shiori back to meet Naruto. I noticed we were being followed about ten kilometers from the entrance, but figured it was just Leaf Shinobi. When they attacked us, I realized that they were Orochimaru's henchman. As to why he would suddenly attack me now after so many years, I've no idea. I turned to fight and made Shiori keep running. That's all."

" That's all hm? Well, I can't say I'm too bothered by it, but the village elders will be. I'm almost certain they will hold a trial." Tsunade stood, looking out the window at the darkening sky.

" Naruto, move in with them in the Uchiha compound. For now, the least I can do is out you under house arrest, Sasuke. Naruto will be your mediator. Until I have more information, this will have to do." The woman turned to leave, and nobody stopped her. Sasuke shifted after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, causing the blonde to snap out of his thoughts.

" Too the Uchiha compound then?" Naruto smiled, holding out a hand to help his daughter and lover out of bed. Sasuke took hold of it happily as Naruto scooped a dozing Shiori into his other arm. They left the hospital together, making their way through the crowded streets of Konoha in silence. Many heads turned to stare at the Leaf village traitor, but nobody was brave enough to actually say anything.

They had almost made it to the safe entrance of the compound when none other than Uchiha fan girl shrieks were heard. Naruto turned in time to see a flash of blonde and purple. Crap, Sakura.

(AN: okay, I reeeeaaaallllllyyyyyy hate Sakura. Like H-A-T-E! But ever since I saw the episode with her and old lady Chiyo in shippuuden, I'm starting to not want to bash her brains out. So, I'm going to try not here. Bare with me!)

The pink haired girl came to a halt in front of the blonde and the raven, her green eyes shining with questions. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

" Daddy, who's that?" Shiori pulled on Sasuke's sleeve, pointing at the gaping medic nin. Sakura looked at the little girl, then at Sasuke.

" Daddy?" Naruto sighed. Of all the ways for Sakura to find out Sasuke was back…..

" Hello, Sakura. And yes. This is my….our daughter, Shiori." Naruto clutched at Sasuke's hand tightly, smiling. Sakura turned to blonde. She looked pissed.

" You have a daughter and you never told me? What the hell Naruto?!"

**Wait for it**_……… (said in Sasuke's mind)_

_Another shriek echoed in the damp night._

" _You- and she…..but how? A child? YOU'RE BOTH GUYS!"_

_( Ohhhhh I wanna Sakura bash!!)_

" _Sakura, not now, okay? We just got back, and Naruto needs to get settled. Why don't you come by tomorrow and we'll eat all eat lunch together." Sasuke turned his obsidian eyes on the pink haired girl, and she nodded slowly, glancing to Naruto and back. The Raven turned back towards the compound gates, Naruto right behind him. Sakura stared at them leaving before turning to leave herself._

" _Oh, and Sakura, let's not tell anyone else about anything yet, alright?" Sakura glanced at Sasuke. Was he……smiling? She frowned, nodding once, and watched as her former team mates disappeared from view. _

_AN: well, there's the end of chapter two. Please review and tell me what you thought. I only write more every five reviews, in case you guys wonder why it takes me so long to post. I write until I get tired, then I turn off my laptop until the next five reviews. Be glad I did this is one sitdown!_

_Now, In upcoming chapters, I will have a flashback of Shiori's birth. Here's where you guys come in._

_The nurse woman that helped sasuke through his pregnancy, well, heres a description of her: She's about fifty eight-ish. Has whispy purple/white hair and these amazing grey eyes. You guys get to review, and give me your opinion on what her name should be. I'll pick my favorite at the end, and if you win, I may just give you a sneak peak at the pregnancy chapters. Maybe. So here's what I would like you too do. Review, give me your name ideas, and a way to contact you too tell you if you've won and to give you that sneak peak._

_Much love!_


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